From Genesis to the Maps (Chapter 20)

"I once heard a pastor say...'If you read your Bible and pray for an hour each day, you will fulfill your destiny.'  I think he was right.  Consistent time in the Word of God and consistent time in prayer will introduce you to a deeper understanding of God, His heart, His ways, His voice and His love.  It will change you forever and introduce you to who you really are.  Read the book like He wrote it to you.  Because He did."  - Jackson, Among Kings

As a wannabe writer, I have actually read my fair share of books about writing.  (The process behind the process, or to nerd out, the metadata about the data).  Interestingly enough, the only Stephen King novel I've ever read was "On Writing" in which he attempts to illuminate how to follow in his footsteps.  I've also heard the advice that first thing in the morning you should complete 3 pages, long-hand.  This was clearly written by someone without carpal tunnel, but with the misguided belief that mornings are universally your best thinking time.  Let me tell you how many of these blogs I've written before 10:00 am:  Exactly zero.  Before noon?  Also zero.  Before 5:00 pm?  Wait for it...zero.  You get the idea.  My point is that the daily rhythms that work for any goal are truly unique to you.  The same is true for your Bible reading and prayer time.  A majority of what I come across is advice to start your day with devotions.  But my day starts when my alarm goes off, sometimes mid-dream.  I have to sneak out of the room quietly so as to not wake the sleeping Zoey.  I then attempt to awaken and motivate my school age children to get moving.  And then there are multiple drop offs before I settle into my desk to start my workday.  So how can I go to a place of solitude to meet God with all of these responsibilities and contingencies and when I can't leave my house?

To answer that question, I want to elevate one of the most beautiful answers to this I have ever read: God comes to women.  To quote Heather Farrell's now famous instagram post (that has been made into a book): "That is why God comes to women. Men have to climb the mountain to meet God, but God comes to women wherever they are...in their homes, in their kitchens, in their gardens. He comes to them as they sit beside sickbeds, as they give birth, care for the elderly, and perform necessary mourning and burial rites."  Read the full post here: https://www.womeninthescriptures.com/2020/04/god-comes-to-women.html

This answer offers me incredible relief and makes me feel seen.  God has always known that it will be insurmountably difficult for some of us to get to a secluded spot to meet God (child abandonment anyone?).  But He knows this, and still considers time with us invaluable.  So valuable in fact, that He will come to us if we can't leave.  He will, in a sense, leave the 99 to come find the one. Because God has always seen the value of women.  I have offered this little nugget of wisdom to friends who are not Christians (yet).  I once had a friend ask me why the Bible was anti-woman and I explained nothing could be further from the truth.  Set against the backdrop of its day, Jesus did more to elevate women and reach those on the margins than any leader ever had.  

So in conclusion, if you struggle to get time alone with God, feel seen and feel known, because you are!  If you are struggling with mornings, know you are not alone and that God will meet you any time!  I can offer God bleary-eyed grumpy morning Bekah.  But I think it's better to offer him sharp, focused, caffeinated afternoon Bekah.  9 out of 10 friends confirm this is the preferred Bekah.  God is 24/7/365.  So if you've ever felt limited by when or how you're supposed to meet with Him, release it.  He is a limitless God.  He can handle a yelling prayer, a crying prayer, a joyful devotion session or just silence at 2:00 am.  He meets you wherever (and whenever) you are.  

Wisdom (Chapter 19)

"God is always looking for a young person to pour His wisdom into, and no one is excluded. If you want it, you can be a candidate for the wisdom of God." Jackson, Chapter 19, Among Kings

In one of the scenes of the Emoji Movie, the emoticons “Meh” and “High Five” are walking through a myriad of apps on a modern teenage cell phone. They check out Spotify, dip into Weather and eventually land in the world of social media. There they enter the Facebook app to see what it’s all about. Meh enters the metaphorical Facebook room and after hearing several posts like, “Look at what I just ate!”, or “Check out my new puppy!” Meh leaves shaking his head.

“I don’t get it,” he says. “All anyone is doing is just talking about themselves.” Now this is just a passing line in a kid’s movie that bombed at the box office. No one besides me has ever thought twice about this scene (evidenced by the fact that I can’t even find the scene on YouTube.) And yet, I’ve always thought it pointed to an obvious but unconsidered fact about social media. It serves as a platform to send one-way communications, mostly about yourself and your life. It feels like a communication exchange, and yet it isn’t. Comments replace conversation. Likes sometimes replace words entirely. The data lives indefinitely. Theoretically, you could say whatever you want on this channel. But should you?

For me, a short definition of wisdom boils down to this 5 word question, “I could, but should I?” I Corinthians 10:23 also asks this question, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” The APMC version spells it out even more plainly, “All things are legitimate, but not all things are constructive [to character] and edifying [to spiritual life].” Yes, we have our free will, which is so obvious we sometimes forget about it. And how we exercise our free will and the knowledge we have is where wisdom comes in. Consider these statements:

“I don’t ask my husband anything until after he’s eaten dinner.”

“My teenager cannot have a phone unless it has a protective case.”

“Sometimes she’s like a stew. You have to drop an idea in, and let it simmer for awhile and then you get a better response later.”

All of them contain simple relational wisdom that has been learned and applied over time. God has a soft spot for wisdom seekers. Trust me. The famed Solomon, wisest person who ever lived could have asked God for riches, good looks, health, long life or even a dozen wives (common then). He asked for wisdom instead. And God decided to bless him with wisdom, fortune, AND long life.

As Jackson notes in chapter 19, finding wisdom can be tricky amid all of our modern distractions. Wisdom isn’t competing for your attention or dollars. In fact, it can seem rather elusive. It isn’t something that can be added to your resume. It isn’t going to help you slim down or smooth out wrinkles. It is the well-earned badge of a student of life.

With the attitude of a student, you remain humble and most importantly, teachable. As long as you remain open and teachable, your opportunities to grow in wisdom are limitless. On the contrary, arrogance or a closed-minded approach will shut down growth. Jackson points out (and my experience confirms) that it is essential to find a mentor, and you may need to be the one to initiate that relationship. Why you ask? Because saying, “I need a mentor” is worlds less awkward than saying, “I think you need some mentoring.” And on that subject, you might just call it “meeting for coffee”. The arrangement doesn’t have to be formal. In fact, it’s probably less pressure on both parties if it isn’t. A mentor guides you through some of life’s biggest decisions. And sometimes, the best advice includes considering the timing of your decisions. In closing, some of the best life advice I’ve heard could fit inside a fortune cookie:

“Never reply when you’re angry. Never make a promise when you’re happy, and never make a decision when you’re sad.”

Rhino Skin (Chapter 18)

“I am the vine; you are the branches.  If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”  John 15:5, NIV

“If you want to be successful in any leadership endeavor, you will need to learn to preen and draw from the anointing oil of the Holy Spirit in your life…you will need to draw strength from God’s presence because people will inevitably fail you.  There is no cynicism in that statement.  It is a simple reality that personal hurts and disappointments accompany leadership, and if we do not process those things well we risk becoming wounded leaders that would our followers.”  - Jackson, Among Kings, Chapter 18

Early on in my life I was to learn that my greatest strength was also my greatest weakness.  And perhaps it is this way for all of us.  Every character trait, after all, is a two-edged sword.  For me, I discovered that my deep sensitivity that allowed me to sense the feelings of others and listen with genuine interest is the same trait that leaves me hopelessly vulnerable to attack.  

As I am writing this piece, I asked my husband to jumpstart my memory with an example or story to help illustrate this.  “Can you think of a time I’ve been too sensitive?”  My husband froze.  I am certain he had a whole rolodex of examples that sprang to mind.  But he is a wise man, sensed the trap and decided not to launch into any of the many stories he could have brought up.  

All kidding aside though, it has been a long and involved process for me to first, recognize that my sensitivity is a gift, but also, see that it left me with some weak spots I needed to shore up, and finally, begin the fine art of balancing these two truths.  I was told for many, many years that I needed to develop thicker skin.  And I probably didn’t make any true progress until I went away to college and started living with roommates.  My first dorm room I had one roommate in a space intended to be a “single”.  My sophomore year there were 3 of us in room built as a “double”.  By my senior year, I was living in a house with 4 other girls all in one house.  By the time I got married, I had had over 10 different roommates, and if you count living and traveling with my study abroad group, many, many more.  Each of these roommates had a different upbringing, conflict style and communication style and inevitably, we would clash from time to time.  

Through all of this I learned that conflict, that thing I tried so desperately to avoid, was inevitable.  But encouragingly, I also learned that relational wounds were recoverable.  I can’t tell you the number of times I thought a friendship I held dear was utterly doomed because of any offense, only to see forgiveness and perspective reappear the next morning.  It is a tough and almost unnatural thing to do, but I am having to continually learn to coat my heart and my ego in the “anointing oil of the Holy Spirit” as Jackson writes.  Unnatural because I want to get my relational security from other people.  I want their reassurances and validation.  I want to know that we are connected in a way that cannot be severed.  But that is an unrealistic and dangerous desire.  I cannot demand from other people something only God can provide.  

I have found that with God as the foundational root, there is so much less pressure on all of your other relationships.  And yes, they will at times crack or go dormant for a season.  But with your security at the root, you can withstand the passing season.  

The Right One (Chapter 16)

Right this moment, I am listening to the laughter of my husband and son, as they race remote control cars in the basement.  Every few minutes, their cheers are punctuated by the delighted squeals of my one-year-old.  Life is good.  It is incredible to look back and remember that I never really thought I’d make it here.  When I graduated college, without any promising prospects in sight, and a fat stack of wedding invitations to deal with, I wasn’t sure where my future was headed.  

I started keeping track of all of the bridesmaid dress colors I’d worn:  Sunshine Yellow, Emerald Green, 

Bubblegum Pink, Blush, Periwinkle, and (surprisingly) Black!  I was starting to feel like the main character in 27 dresses, and every tired trope thrown at the girl at the single’s table who is “always a bridesmaid, never a bride.”  A friend at church once asked me what I was looking for in a spouse and I remember describing someone quite opposite of me.  Someone who was a decisive, natural born leader.  But, I remember asking my friend, “where was I ever going to find someone like that??”  (I’m sure you’re laughing by now if you know my husband).  

But before you can see the end of the story, it is really quite bewildering.  You start wondering if there is something critically wrong with you, instead of just your luck.  You might start reviewing your list, wondering if you’ve got the right criteria on it.  I remember doing this, thinking that the wisdom was in the list and where it was pointing me.  If this sounds familiar, let me at least ease this fear:  It’s not about what’s on the list.  Yes, you should take some time thinking about it and talking with a good friend or two.  And go ahead, write it down!  But then, let it go.  

Jackson says that in the church he grew up in, you would give your list to your pastor who would keep it tucked away until he surprised you with it at your wedding.  This sounds like the right approach – please forward all lists to Pastor Chris at your earliest convenience!  But whatever you do, don’t frame it, laminate it, make it your phone background or pour over it.  That is putting your energy in the wrong place.  Say a prayer over it, send it on its way and work on being the complement to your perfect spouse, while staying (very) open-minded with the people who cross your path.    

As Jackson states, “In addition to screening potential candidates, our list has another function – it holds us accountable to become the kind of person that person from our list would want to marry.”  And I would add, once you do find your spouse, continue your journey of self-improvement. 

And in the meantime, travel, write, dance, take parkour, take a cooking class, move across the country, or do whatever it is that your heart desires.  Commitment brings an amazing feeling of security, warmth and family.  But commitment does limit freedom.  It has to; that is its nature.  A commitment to one person is the exclusion of any other.  But it is also a promise to take both of your dreams and families and meld them together.  So for right now, try out for that reality T.V. show.  Take the trip.  Take a risk.  

And when you do meet the right one, you may be surprised by how comfortable it feels.  How easy it is to just be in their presence day to day.  After all, marriage is very daily.  Not every moment warrants a social media post.  Most of it is about who you want to spend time with, even if you’re not doing anything in particular.  Who could you be stuck in the house with all day in case there is ever a global pandemic?  (Too soon).  But keep in mind, that is your ideal mate.  That is the kind of person God wants you to find.  That is the person who will laugh when the old, crumpled list is finally unraveled on your wedding day.  

Your Friend Abigail (Chapters 13 & 14)

“’David, you’re better than this.  Don’t stoop to the level of petty revenge when you’re called to be a wise ruler of an entire kingdom.”  - Jackson, Among Kings

A few years back, I was taking an all-day boot camp to prepare for a project management certification.  Our class was held in the conference room of a hotel with limited dining options.  The few cafes in the building closed at 1:00 pm.  Our lunch break was from 1:30 – 2:00.  This left me and my coworker to go driving around in a hungry haze, trying to hunt down food in 30 minutes or less.  Oddly enough, he and I react the same way to hunger: we space out and eventually shut down.  I guess this is better than a fit of rage.  But deciding on a place, in a hurry, and navigating there when you’re both operating on empty (literally) became quite the daily challenge.  

It reminded me of the acronym H.A.L.T.  It stands for: Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  It comes from the wisdom of the 12 step program it’s meant to be a gentle reminder that your decision making can be compromised by your emotional or physical state.  And it’s particularly true when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.  For example, have you ever tried to grocery shop when you’re hungry?  It’s a bad and very expensive idea – trust me.  

Have you ever tried to win an argument when you just want to go to bed?  Another recipe for disaster.  And it doesn’t matter who you are – celebrity, royalty, etc.  All of us are part of the human condition and we have these very real vulnerabilities.  We can’t change them, but we can be aware of them.  

King David was no exception.  (Although in this story he hadn’t yet ascended to the throne).  He came across the field of Nabal and asked for supplies and received not just a “no”, but a denial wrapped in offense that David would even ask.  Who did he think he was anyway?  I suspect that at this moment, David was suffering from at least one of the conditions of H.A.L.T.  In fact, it is very likely since he has arrived at the field of a stranger, and is currently seeking supplies, that he is experiencing all 4 states simultaneously.  Probably the worst possible state for a wise decision.  

Now it’s good to be aware of this, and to pull yourself away from navigating, negotiating, or whatever lofty task you’re trying to accomplish if you can.  But it’s even better to surround yourself with friends who can recognize when you’re in this state, and can run in to give you some relief.  

When I first heard this story, I was honestly surprised that Abigail was lauded as a heroine.  It seemed to me that she was acting in her own best interest by keeping the peace.  And in the short term, this may be true.  She prevented certain bloodshed at her home.  But in the long run, she did so much more than that.  As Jackson states, she prevented David from stooping to the level of the murderous men who were hunting him.  She played a part in preserving his royal destiny.  

Finding an Abigail who can save you from yourself when you need it so badly you can’t even see it is critical.  If you have one in your life, count yourself lucky, and tell them how much you appreciate them (they probably don’t know how crucial they have been to your success.)  If you’re still searching for this kind of friend, keep praying and get brave enough to reach out.  And ask God who you can be an Abigail for.   

Shift Happens and Sesame Street (Chapters 11 & 12)

“You and I live in a glancing society, and yet, Christianity is a religion for gazers.”  Jackson, Among Kings

As a kid growing up in the 80s and 90s, you had to be diligent if you didn’t want to miss your favorite TV shows.  You couldn’t just wait until the series was over and binge them all at once.  You had to be the first of your siblings to plant yourself on the living room couch, because one thing was certain.  He who held the remote, held all the power.  And if you didn’t share the same taste in shows, and you couldn’t coerce or convince them to change channels, you just missed your shows…FOREVER.  I’m sure this scene would sound like the plot of a horror movie to my own kids.  We’ve joked that we knew what real “hustle” was.  One sibling would go get snacks while the other watched commercials, and then yelled, “IT’S BACK ON!!!”, and at that point, we could leap small couches in a single bound to get back in time.  

One of the shows my brother and I didn’t agree on was Mr. Rogers.  Although his kindness has earned its own place in history today, it was the tempo that I found downright irritating.  I would walk through the room, giving it my full 5 second attention span (it was longer then) and would conclude, “Meh”, and walk on.  Given the choice, I preferred Sesame Street.  At least there were occasional celebrity appearances.  

But Fred Rogers was onto something, even back in the 60s when the show first aired.  He was the antithesis to a TV culture that was just starting to speed up.  And this counter culture presentation was absolutely authentic and intentional.  There may have been a few kids, like myself, that gave up on it.  But for others, they felt seen.  As Jackson states, it was less about glancing, or really scrolling, and more about gazing.  Rogers was about the beauty of pausing.  Of staring out a window until you notice something you wouldn’t have seen if you weren’t watching so long – a bird building a nest, squirrels chasing each other, a neighbor struggling to drag their trash cans to the curb.  And in those moments of pause, Rogers would encourage his audience to look for ways to be kind and help.  Some have even said that Rogers himself seemed to experience time differently than other people.  He wasn’t bound to his calendar or even his watch.  He tried to spend his time doing something of value, for the amount of time that it took, rather than time-boxing and moving on.  It is a strange and perplexing thing in all of Western culture, but particularly at this moment.  If TV was just starting to speed up in the 60s, media has reached warp speed today.  There are Tik Tok transitions that run faster than my attention span and I am struggling next to my children to keep up.  

It still takes intention to gaze, which is active and appreciative, rather than glaze over and zone out.  It takes fighting a habit to not jump at every text message alert when you’re having a deep conversation with a friend.  Our time has become one of the most hotly traded commodities.  And although God wants our time, and growing spiritually requires it, He seldom demands it, because we have our free will. 

As I am rounding out another decade, I personally want to set some better intentions with how I spend my time.  No matter how far along you are in years, start noticing your idle time and where it goes.  See if you can spend a few minutes staring out the window instead of staring at your phone.  See if you can find the beauty in pausing.  See if you can recapture idle time and idle attention, and spend it listening to His voice.    

Javelins to the Heart (Chapters 9 & 10)

“You are lucky it was not her heart.  The heart is not so easily fixed.  But the head can be persuaded.”
– Frozen

It was a rainy day in Washington.  And that may sound obvious.  But this was eastern Washington, the dry part of the state.  And rain was much rarer here.  But it was just as well.  The rain matched her mood.  Sarah settled into her dorm room with a cup of tea, waiting for her roommate to come home.  It had only been a couple of hours since her longtime boyfriend, Justin, had dumped her.  The sobbing had stopped, but her breathing was still erratic.  As she waited for the door to open, she felt all the sorrow growing and getting ready to spill out again.  Retelling the story to her roommate Amy, her closest friend, was sure to bring the long crying jags back.  But she had to get it out.  

Finally, the key turned.  And as soon as the door opened, the story started pouring out.  Amy looked genuinely shocked.  Bewildered even.  She sat down with her friend and listened for a while.  But she didn’t let herself fall to her usual depth of empathy.  Instead, she held back and listened.  At one point she even looked around nervously, as if trying to find her bearings.  Amy had some news of her own.  

Eventually, they had talked through the worst of the breakup and it was Amy’s turn to share her news.  “I’m moving out.”  Those three blunt words hung in the air and seemed to fill up all the space in the room.  Amy tried to steady her breathing.  She was filled with fear.  Sarah slowly realized she had only survived the first breakup.  The second one eclipsed the first completely.  She needed space, she needed air.  She needed a break from wave after wave of crushing news.  “Get out!” was all she could manage.  And with that, Amy picked up pre-packed suitcase and left.   

The room felt so empty.  The sorrow wanted to grow into rage.  It took everything within Sarah to make it through the next few weeks.  The abandonment, the timing of it all….everything stung.  The loss of the friendship demanded a whole grieving process. 

This is one of my own stories.  As Jackson mentions, we all experience a javelin thrown at us from the hands of a loved one at some point in our lives.  And the experience will transform us.  But in order to make sure it transforms us in the right way, we have to be brave enough to walk through the depth of all of the feelings.  This can be so much easier said than done.  I know many people who seem to be happy, even jovial, functional members of society.  They never seem to lose their cool.  And you might think they’ve never been through a betrayal or a tragedy.  But then you find out with time that unpleasant feelings were unwelcome in the home they grew up in, and they never figured out a new strategy.  Or they may have been to a church that mistook misfortune for God’s judgement.  No matter how it happens, it can sometimes take a huge leap of bravery and a close friend to pull you through.  

It is so easy to numb out, and to think if you keep your head down, you can just withstand the sandstorm, and when it is all clear, you can go back to your regular life.  But the last thing God wants to do is waste the pain that you’ve been through.  He wants to use it to build your empathy for others, to teach you something you can pay forward, and to build it into your leadership D.N.A.  Even if you are only leading within the boundaries of your own household (arguably the most important leadership position of all).  And He wants to give you the gift of forgiveness rather than the satisfaction of revenge.  After all, we have all had our moments of being Amy instead of Sarah.  And in this story, I was.  

A Foundation for Royalty (Chapters 7 & 8)

“As 13th in line in my own kingdom, I didn’t stand a chance. 
I knew I’d have to marry into the throne somewhere...” 
- Hans, Frozen. 

With the birth of our third kid, we’ve officially become a family that exceeds federal guidelines.  And if you watch for it, it is fascinating to watch the sibling dynamics unfold between the 3 of them.  We have our resident oldest, who of course holds her title with ever-increasing responsibility and eye rolling.  Then we have our once-youngest, now middle child, who is managing his displacement fairly well.  And then the baby, who only knows at the moment that life revolves around her. 

The reality is, there is a certain amount of truth to the “birth order theory”.  In fact, more traditional families routinely reinforce these expectations with rules that the firstborn will take their parent’s first name, or are required to marry first, or take care of their siblings.  

So it would be one thing to say that David was not planning to be king.  After all, he is the youngest of eight sons.  But in fact, he was not even in a direct lineage to the throne.  It was more like Queen Elizabeth II being suddenly thrust into the most powerful position in the land, when that wasn’t even part of plan B, plan C, or even plan X.  

So David was not doing a lot of “image management”.  After all, he never planned to have a public image that would need to be managed.  He probably didn’t have a wealth of people to influence in any way.  The majority of his time wasn’t even spent with people, it was spent with sheep.  It is challenging for most of us to be alone for even a few hours without human interaction.  The pandemic certainly tested this theory.  But imagine a lifelong career without coworkers.  Of course David was happy to deliver food and supplies to the front line – he needed some human companionship.  

But in this isolation, he was also spending uninterrupted hours with God.    I believe this created something in David that was more important than any lineage or title.  It created a dependent, childlike faith.  And God used that as a genuine foundation for royalty

Unlikely Hero (Chapters 5 & 6)

“When I was younger I was looking for this magic meaning of life.  It’s very simple now.  Making the lives of others better, doing something of lasting value.  That’s the meaning of life, it’s that simple.”  

~ Temple Grandin

 He was somewhere on the spectrum.  Although, being raised in the 1980’s, autism research was in its infancy so an Asperger’s diagnosis was a long way off.  Still, it would have given his parents some answers, some relief to know that this condition had a name.  It was more than just a personality quirk.  It was as if everyone around him was speaking in two languages simultaneously.  One was the spoken word – direct, succinct and clear.  But the other was one of tone, gestures, eye signals, micro-expressions and timing.  The far majority of communication was what wasn’t being said, and he only had a mental translator for the first language.  

His family and friends were not entirely sure how his life would turn out.  Of course, he had a job and he had friends.  But would he be able to thrive with the daily complexities of marriage communication?  Could he advocate for himself when he deserved a raise?  A promotion?  Would he be able to pick up hints and indicators in real time and adjust course accordingly?  Were these things that could be taught? 

The day he announced he was getting ready to propose to his girlfriend, I, along with many other loved ones, collectively held our breath. Oh, if I could just bubble-wrap his heart in case it gets fumbled and dropped along the way…

A few years into his marriage, all seemed to be going well.  A marriage that can withstand 2 moves and several job changes in the first few years is a strong one by anyone’s definition.  

But then something miraculous happened.  Through the prodding and encouragement of the Holy Spirit (made audible through his wife), he did something I never saw coming.  He signed up to be a foster Dad.  And in doing so, he signed up to be someone’s hero, and a someone he hadn’t even met yet.  I wondered, and worried again.  Did he have what it takes?  I don’t even know if I could do this, and I pick up on every emotional signal.  How could he?   

And yet, God had a plan for the most unlikely hero all along.  His baby girl, (we’ll call her Allison) is a vivacious one year old.  She toddles around on unsteady feet with so much excitement and curiosity.  She wants to meet everyone, discover everything.  She wants to grab the world with cute chubby little fingers and squeeze it for all it has to offer.  

But what blesses my heart more than anything is to see her smile when she looks at her hero.  We sometimes don’t think we have what it takes.  We think about “being a David in our own generation” as Jackson states, and we picture a job description with qualifications miles long.  Not a chance.  We think we’re too old or too young, or not experienced enough.  Or perhaps we’re very self-aware and we know we struggle with anger issues or addiction or depression.  

But there is a part of God’s plan that is so simple we miss it.  We simply have to choose to be a part of it.  My friend simply (literally) signed up for it.  I think if he had waited until he felt qualified, he’d still be waiting.  Maybe it never would have happened.  But Allison didn’t need her hero to be perfect.  She just needed him to be there, and willing to try.  God didn’t need David to be perfect, and He doesn’t need you to be either. 

The God of Transformation (Chapters 3 & 4)

“Standards of beauty change, and if I were the devil bent on destroying a generation, I would see to it that they continued to change, always staying just out of reach of the average person.” – Jackson, Among Kings

“I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things.”  Tyrion Lannister

Once upon a time there was a little girl who was decidedly happy.  She giggled so much that one of her parent’s nicknames for her was “Chuckles”.  She had a fairly carefree childhood.  She was unaware of how much money her parents did or didn’t make, didn’t think at all about what was popular or beautiful.  She didn’t know if she lived in a nice part of town.  Wouldn’t have known what middle or lower class was, let alone being an upper-middle straddling lower-upper status.  She simply was.  And that, was a beautiful thing.  

In addition to this blissful ignorance, she didn’t know yet if she herself was beautiful.  But as she grew, her parents lovingly assured her that she was, but also gave her the gift of being called creative, unique and kind.

And then came junior high, the boxing ring you get unexpectedly dropped into, without gloves.  Some people emerge victorious, some have to learn how to fight and others are just looking for a way out.  Partway through those middle school years, she developed a misshapen jaw.  The misalignment made it difficult to eat and impossible to like what she saw in the mirror.  After years of hiding and being teased, the flaw seemed to eclipse any other good qualities, and swallowed up the sunny personality along with it.  She suddenly felt bankrupt in a new economy based on beauty and confidence.  

The truth is, we’ve all been told what our currency is.  For some, it’s a stand out talent or ability, for others it’s money or beauty or even pedigree.  And the loss of this currency is a loss of identity.  

Imagine being…
- Prince Harry and giving up a royal title, the very thing that has defined your life and path since before you were born. 
- Bestselling marriage author Joshua Harris suddenly facing a divorce 
- Steve Jobs and being forced out of the company you founded

As Jackson states, it is easy to wonder why the “….God who created time and spatial dimensions seems to ignore the fact that a simple, straight line might work better than the winding, time-consuming path that He inevitably leads us on? ….It seems God has more on His mind than just getting us to our destination.”  

Given the choice, human will all naturally choose the wide, easy road.  But God isn’t about efficiency.  He is about transformation.  

We all have what the apostle Paul refers to as our “thorn in the flesh”.  The limitation that we rail against, that we stare into the heavens and ask “WHY?” And “If Only….”  This could be an addiction, a highly dysfunctional family of origin, in invisible painful disease or even a physical trait so visible and obvious that there is nowhere to hide.  

God wants to run directly into that mess, carefully gather the broken pieces, and first and foremost, give you a safe place to rest where you know you are loved.  Then, he gently presses into that vulnerable place, where the loss is.  I have always found that before the healing, you develop compassion.  Compassion for yourself first, compassion for those in a similar situation, and finally just compassion in general, as you realize you don’t have any idea what others are truly going through.  Then with this thumbprint of compassion permanently sealing the wound, the healing can begin.

A Willing Heart (Chapters 1 & 2)

“Your majesty, I am no princess.  I have no carriage, no parents, no dowry.  I do not even know if that beautiful slipper will fit.  But if it does, will you take me as I am?  An honest country girl who loves you.”  - Cinderella, 2015

 It was a typical Thursday night.  I was trying to finish grading the essays I’d promised to return to my class the day before.  I was nearing the end, but my eyes kept drifting to the TV.  What do I tell myself I can grade in front of the TV? You can’t do the homework in front of the TV, and you can’t grade it there either.  I switched it off and poured another coffee.  But my distraction didn’t shut off.  

I had built up a nice career for myself.  I loved my coworkers, loved working with high schoolers (just out of the junior high awkward phase, but still young enough to inspire).  I’d even been voted teacher of the year – twice!  And my modest teaching salary was finally putting me in the position to buy a house in Southern California, which seemed frightfully out of reach on a single income.  So why the discontent?  

Digging through each chapter with our Rooted group, I was reminded of the last time I truly felt fulfilled.  It was when I was in those golden high school years, and I went on a mission trip in Ecuador.  That experience flipped a switch inside.  I had learned about the country and the ministry, sure.  But the real revelation was what I discovered about myself on that trip.  Working with youth was where I felt most alive.  And lately, I’d wanted to feel that way again. 

My inner monologue rambled away about all the reasons it didn’t make logical sense:  If I loved youth, what about the students in Montclair?  What about my apartment, and this little nest egg that longed to turn it into a home?  What was I thinking doing all this alone and by the way, did I mention I don’t speak Spanish?  

But God doesn’t choose based on foreign language skills or who has a month to month lease that’s easier to get out of.  He doesn’t require us to already be married, or be homeowners or meet some other milestone.  What inspires God is a willing heart.  All the rest are details.  

The above story isn’t mine, but it is true.  And it’s a reminder that sometimes we can feel God’s calling just as strongly as we feel ill-equipped to meet it.  David was considered such an afterthought that he wasn’t even brought to the sacrifice where the new ruler would be chosen.  If someone had brought him, it likely would have been to help with the livestock to be sacrificed, not as a candidate for kingship.  There are times in life when our ceremony starts without us. Like Cinderella, we are waiting in the attic, while the ones considered most-likely-to-succeed are in the tryouts. 

But God will not let you miss your moment.  And no, it has not passed you by.  His infinite patience will wait for you to hear the call, fight through your inhibitions and wring out all of your worries.  He will wait, because there was only one candidate, one heart He was interested in all along.