“Standards of beauty change, and if I were the devil bent on destroying a generation, I would see to it that they continued to change, always staying just out of reach of the average person.” – Jackson, Among Kings
“I have a tender spot in my heart for cripples, bastards and broken things.” Tyrion Lannister
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was decidedly happy. She giggled so much that one of her parent’s nicknames for her was “Chuckles”. She had a fairly carefree childhood. She was unaware of how much money her parents did or didn’t make, didn’t think at all about what was popular or beautiful. She didn’t know if she lived in a nice part of town. Wouldn’t have known what middle or lower class was, let alone being an upper-middle straddling lower-upper status. She simply was. And that, was a beautiful thing.
In addition to this blissful ignorance, she didn’t know yet if she herself was beautiful. But as she grew, her parents lovingly assured her that she was, but also gave her the gift of being called creative, unique and kind.
And then came junior high, the boxing ring you get unexpectedly dropped into, without gloves. Some people emerge victorious, some have to learn how to fight and others are just looking for a way out. Partway through those middle school years, she developed a misshapen jaw. The misalignment made it difficult to eat and impossible to like what she saw in the mirror. After years of hiding and being teased, the flaw seemed to eclipse any other good qualities, and swallowed up the sunny personality along with it. She suddenly felt bankrupt in a new economy based on beauty and confidence.
The truth is, we’ve all been told what our currency is. For some, it’s a stand out talent or ability, for others it’s money or beauty or even pedigree. And the loss of this currency is a loss of identity.
Imagine being…
- Prince Harry and giving up a royal title, the very thing that has defined your life and path since before you were born.
- Bestselling marriage author Joshua Harris suddenly facing a divorce
- Steve Jobs and being forced out of the company you founded
As Jackson states, it is easy to wonder why the “….God who created time and spatial dimensions seems to ignore the fact that a simple, straight line might work better than the winding, time-consuming path that He inevitably leads us on? ….It seems God has more on His mind than just getting us to our destination.”
Given the choice, human will all naturally choose the wide, easy road. But God isn’t about efficiency. He is about transformation.
We all have what the apostle Paul refers to as our “thorn in the flesh”. The limitation that we rail against, that we stare into the heavens and ask “WHY?” And “If Only….” This could be an addiction, a highly dysfunctional family of origin, in invisible painful disease or even a physical trait so visible and obvious that there is nowhere to hide.
God wants to run directly into that mess, carefully gather the broken pieces, and first and foremost, give you a safe place to rest where you know you are loved. Then, he gently presses into that vulnerable place, where the loss is. I have always found that before the healing, you develop compassion. Compassion for yourself first, compassion for those in a similar situation, and finally just compassion in general, as you realize you don’t have any idea what others are truly going through. Then with this thumbprint of compassion permanently sealing the wound, the healing can begin.